A Pain I’m Familiar With

Let’s see, how do I start this, and how do I say things the right way. There is no ‘right’ way, really, just an honest way.

I’ve had a few loved ones find the ‘end of their rope’, as they put it. They’ve had enough. They’re overwhelmed, exhausted, and, in the most impolite of words, ‘they just don’t give a ____ anymore’. Some have gone as far as threatening/attempting suicide.

How do we help our loved ones thru this? They’ve already been seen, and been destroyed by the Systems who claim – help is available. How can we help when the ‘experts’ can’t?

I’m struggling to say things here so they’re easy to understand, yet do not diminish the issues.

I’ve been to that place of deep, crushing, unending pain, where I felt my heart and body was literally going to splinter apart, the pain was so …. I’ve sobbingly, mournfully, soulfully begged for the world to be better.

I realized a couple things:

  1. Few people care about what I want. If I want change, I have to do it myself.
  2. I have no idea what I’m doing. All I know is, I need to do Something.

I write.

I write about what I’ve learned; through my education, my hard-work, my volunteering, my mistakes, my misguided judgments, and my years on this planet.

I write about the beautiful places I’ve been, and still want to go to. I write about the gorgeousness of nature’s life-sustaining abilities. I write about these things, intending for others to see this planet with a same shared vision.

I write about all the good people and good values I can find. Some people fill the world with every ounce of goodness they can squeeze from themselves. They offer their best through their words, work, art, and actions.

I gather all these awesome things together to try to give people:

  • Examples: maybe people will see how gorgeous life is/can be/will be.
  • Hope: maybe if we all do our best, we won’t all be wishing for a way out.

I write ignorant words that go unacknowledged or are misunderstood.

I refuse to write in Soundbite Hatred. I don’t enjoy the kind of writing that’s filled with hatred and no solutions. People seem to be looking for ways to “GET FIRED UP”. They seem to need the drama to spur them on, to keep them fighting – about what? Anything and Everything! All the things must be a raging battle to the dysfunctional end, or at least until the biggest bully feels they have won the imaginary humiliation contest.

I keep writing, trying to bring truth, peace, balance, and shine a light on the ‘real goodness’, the “Real Things” that make our world worth living in.

I ramble on, trying so hard to get people to reach the highest abilities of their hearts and minds. People lose interest. If only they knew how much rambling work I throw out…

Perhaps all I should say every day is:

  • Please help me give our families a better future.
  • Please help me save our planet.

But then people wouldn’t know the personal reasons I keep writing and sharing.

People wouldn’t know the Immense Love I have for all of my Perfect Grandbabies, for my True Love, for My Only Child, and for my entire huge family, and lovely, wonderful friends.

People wouldn’t know how Awesome I find so much of this world, or how deep my heart aches at our destruction of it.

People wouldn’t know how much I care or how desperately I want change.

Chippewa Lookout view of the Mississippi River at Crow Wing State Park

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10 thoughts on “A Pain I’m Familiar With

  1. Rose, your words are impactful. The two things you realized and noted are profound. It is up to us and we don’t know all the answers. The act of doing is therapeutic because it starts the process. Going outside to walk around is a start as it may change a negative thought process. A relative’s therapist called this changing the “stinking thinking.”

    Writing is therapeutic for me as well. And, I love that you adhere to avoiding the hateful rants. We can disagree with someone without taking his or her head off. We need more civility and civil discourse.

    Take care and keep on writing. Keith

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  2. Thank-you, Keith. I appreciate your kind, thoughtful, encouraging words. Being outside definitely helps change our stagnant thinking. Lately, my husband and I have been visiting as many local State Parks as possible and going on as many motorcycle rides as we’re able. It’s quite an emotional pendulum swing – we go outside and laugh and have a wonderful time. Then we come inside and hear the news and face all of life’s other problems. We try to hang onto our ‘outside joy’ while having a go at those problems with a fresh new perspective.

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    1. Rose, I must confess to having been a news junkie. But, I have dialed it back some, as I grow tired of hearing politicians focusing on keeping their job, rather than doing their job. It helps some. Keith

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      1. Similar here – we watch much less news than we used to. I was such a news enthusiast that in 2008 I took a local Community Journalism workshop led by David McDonald, a former bureau chief for Reuters. For a time, I worked as an ad assistant/proofreader/typesetter for our local newspaper. I thought there had to be a better way to report the news….

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    1. Thank-you Joanna. Sometimes in our deep, heart-broken losses: loss of loved ones, loss of jobs, loss of homes, loss of health… we feel so alone. We ‘temporarily forget’ that there still is life, and love, and beauty right in front of us. ❤️

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  3. Such a good post. You have filled it with hope and in your attitude there is sunshine. It is hard to know where to start to make change. But I will keep looking for a spot to start and firmly place my feet on the spot so I cannot be moved without accomplishing something, some part of the change. At least that is what I hope!

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